Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a type of anxiety disorder. It can occur after you have gone through an extreme emotional trauma that involved the threat of injury or death.

Brief Explanation Of What PTSD Is:

When in danger, it’s natural to feel afraid. This fear triggers many split-second changes in the body to prepare to defend against the danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a healthy reaction meant to protect a person from harm. But in post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), this reaction is changed or damaged. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened even when they’re no longer in danger. PTSD develops after a terrifying ordeal that involved physical harm or the threat of physical harm. The person who develops PTSD may have been the one who was harmed, the harm may have happened to a loved one, or the person may have witnessed a harmful event that happened to loved ones or strangers.

PTSD was first brought to public attention in relation to war veterans, but it can result from a variety of traumatic incidents, such as mugging, rape, torture, being kidnapped or held captive, child abuse, car accidents, train wrecks, plane crashes, bombings, or natural disasters such as floods or earthquakes.

The National Institute of Mental Health has a lot of good information on PTSD  =  Information on Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder

This is not about what PTSD is for the general population, but it’s how I have PTSD and how it affects me.

My PTSD was not caused due to something horrific like abuse or personal trauma.  Mine was caused by a natural disaster.  My PTSD is formed around thunderstorms and the potential for tornadoes.  My friends make fun of me all of the time for going into a panic mode, but there is a reason for my madness.

I was living in Houston, Texas when Hurricane Alicia hit land in 1983.  I was 14 years old at the time.  “Alicia” struck Galveston and Houston directly, causing $2.6 billion in damages, and killed 21 people.  It was such a massive storm, that they “retired” Alicia’s name as the name of a hurricane.  It will never be used again when referring to an Atlantic Hurricane. 

My Story:

I was in the 9^th grade and it was the week of finals before the end of school.  My mother and sister were out of town, so it was just me and my father at home.  I was awakened at 2am by loud noises hitting the windows and by the lightening that illuminated my bedroom.  It was raining, and the wind was blowing.  The thunder was loud.  I was beginning to get really nervous, so I put my robe on, took my teddy bear (yes, I still slept with a teddy bear at 14 years old), and went downstairs.  I sat on the living room couch, trying to decide if I should wake my father up, who amazingly enough, was sleeping during storm.  The entire inside of the house was bright with the lightening which seemed endless.  The wind was getting stronger and the noises I heard (most likely hail) was coming down faster and harder. 

I finally decided to wake my father.  I walked into his room and woke him up, explaining what was going on.  It didn’t take much for me to explain.  Once he was awake, he could hear and see what was happening.  The minute we walked out of his bedroom, an enormous oak tree fell through the ceiling of the house and landed in the exact place on the couch I had been sitting 10 minutes before.  If I had still been sitting there, that tree would have killed me.  Not only did we have a tree in our living room, it was now raining heavily, and all of the debris was flying around the house (sheet-rock, limbs, dirt, rocks, etc.).  My father literally pushed me out of the way to avoid getting hit by the debris. 

My father had just been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, and was told by his doctor to avoid any unnecessary stress.  Right.  While I was freaking out, he calmly walked to the kitchen and made a phone call to our next door neighbor.  This is what I heard. 

“Hello, Richard?  Hi, this is Chuck.  Did you hear that loud noise?  Well, that was a tree that just fell into our living room.  It’s raining in the house now.  Can Amy and I come over?” – Calm as a cucumber.  Unbelievable.

So now we walk to the front hall closet, where he thinks we need to get our raincoats on.  He slowly goes through all of the coats, pushing them aside and he was mumbling under his breath.. “No, this isn’t yours.  This isn’t yours either.”

By this time, I was completely freaking out.  I actually yelled at my father (and if you knew anything about him and how strict and conservative he was, this was not something I did often).  “I don’t care whose coat you get!  Just please get me one and let’s get out of here!”   My father just looked at me, noticed how stressed out I was, and remained extremely calm.  His voice was soothing and he did everything he could to protect me and keep me safe (Meanwhile, the stress he was actually feeling, was causing physical problems to his body, due to his MS).

We were the talk of the neighborhood the following day.  Schools were cancelled because the roads were blocked with trees and there was a lot of damage to clean up.  People would come over and take pictures of the oak tree sitting in the middle of the living room.  They would come over and bring us food, and offered their help in any way that they could.  It was a time where people worked together to help others.  We had to move out of our house for the entire summer so we could have the house rebuilt.  The water had gotten into the walls of the house and they were falling apart.  We don’t know if there was a tornado involved with the hurricane or not, but something was strong enough to uproot an oak tree and throw it into our living room. 

I lived in Texas for another 16 years, but I lived in areas that were not close to the water (The Texas Panhandle).  I never witnessed another major storm like that while living there. 

Now I live in Iowa – I live in an area known as Tornado Alley.  For some reason in the last 14 years, I have developed an absolute terror of thunderstorms and tornadoes.  When storms are approaching and it looks like it could be a strong one, my entire body goes into panic mode.  My face gets hot and turns red, my heart races like it’s going to come out of my chest, I sweat profusely, and I can literally become physically sick.  I think about the time I could have died in Texas, and I start packing and getting prepared to head to the basement to be safe. 

This is going to sound silly and irrational, but I start packing up pictures and school documents, my laptop and anything I would miss if we were to lose the house.  I get my children prepared to head downstairs, and I hunt down the animals to take them to the basement as well.  There might be a tornado in the state of Iowa, and it might not be anywhere close to us, but the news stations get me worked up by their constant warnings and updates. 

I try to stay calm for my children, but physically I am a mess.  You can literally see the panic and stress on my face and everywhere on my body.  It’s not until there is absolutely no danger at all that I can finally calm down.  This causes me to not sleep, either.  There could be lightening in the distance and the sound of rumbling thunder which could be peaceful to other people, but I will not be able to sleep until the skies are calm again. 

My friends make fun of how irrational I am, and tell me there is nothing to worry about…to calm down.  I know that is probably true, but I cannot seem to get that registered into my brain.  I don’t like feeling the way that I do.  I want to be able to stay calm for my children and not panic and haul everything down to the basement (I have to haul everything back upstairs after the threat is over, and that’s just as strenuous sometimes). 

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder is not something to make fun of or take lightly.  I cannot imagine what others go through when they have to relive a personal situation or traumatic experience.  However, I can relate to the feelings associated with it, and it is absolutely debilitating.  You may know deep in your soul that your reactions could be over-exaggerated, but your body just doesn’t let you be rational.  We truly do feel the “fight or flight” response. 

When you run across someone who suffers from PTSD, please do not make fun of them.  Please be patient and understanding, and offer them the help that they deserve.  I haven’t received help for my issues, but mine are more isolated.  My PTSD is triggered by storms, which don’t happen all of the time (just during tornado season, which is during the spring and summer with the highest activity spanning in April through July).  Other people have triggers which can happen frequently, where there’s a loss of complete control.  There is hope and there is help.  Please do not hesitate to ask for help

Crisis numbers for PTSD can be found here

Thank you.

~Amy~